1 00:00:09,803 --> 00:00:11,886 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:19,220 --> 00:00:21,053 Oh, shoot. Here we go. 3 00:00:21,053 --> 00:00:23,886 - Good morning, Mr. David. - Good morning, Sal. 4 00:00:23,886 --> 00:00:25,637 - What a great day for golf, huh? - Yeah. 5 00:00:25,637 --> 00:00:27,886 And it's happening, Mr. David. 6 00:00:27,886 --> 00:00:29,803 - Oh, yeah? - It's happening. 7 00:00:29,803 --> 00:00:32,220 - Oh. - Right over at Will Rogers Park. 8 00:00:32,220 --> 00:00:34,220 There's going to be a reenactment 9 00:00:34,220 --> 00:00:35,720 of the Revolutionary War, 10 00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:37,761 which I partake in every year. 11 00:00:37,761 --> 00:00:40,345 You would not believe some of the people they have. 12 00:00:40,345 --> 00:00:42,011 - No kidding, yeah. - I'm going to be a redcoat. 13 00:00:42,011 --> 00:00:44,220 Interesting. You're going to be in the British army? 14 00:00:44,220 --> 00:00:46,011 I don't have a great British accent, 15 00:00:46,011 --> 00:00:48,137 - but tell me if you think this one works. - Yeah. Okay. 16 00:00:48,137 --> 00:00:49,803 I'm thinking of two different kinds. 17 00:00:49,803 --> 00:00:51,387 Tell me which one you like better. 18 00:00:51,387 --> 00:00:53,554 "Oi, is that-- move that gun over here. 19 00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:55,595 - And get ready. We're going." - Yeah. Yeah. 20 00:00:55,595 --> 00:00:57,595 - That's kind of a-- a Cockney. - That's Cockney, yeah. 21 00:00:57,595 --> 00:00:59,262 But I don't know if that's what they do. 22 00:00:59,262 --> 00:01:01,761 I think, more often, it's a-- they... 23 00:01:01,761 --> 00:01:04,886 "Gentlemen, strike the flagstaff deep, Sir Knight." 24 00:01:04,886 --> 00:01:06,595 ( stammering ) Well, they're both pretty good. 25 00:01:06,595 --> 00:01:09,595 They're good, so I-- it's gonna be a remarkable day for me. 26 00:01:09,595 --> 00:01:12,761 Get in there and play some great golf today, okay, Mr. David? 27 00:01:12,761 --> 00:01:15,095 Oh, sir, you may find the main lot full. 28 00:01:15,095 --> 00:01:17,303 - Okay. - Okay? You may find it full. 29 00:01:17,303 --> 00:01:19,053 - You can-- - I got it, yeah. 30 00:01:19,053 --> 00:01:20,679 ( muffled ) You can-- if you like, 31 00:01:20,679 --> 00:01:22,554 you can just take-- make a right over here. 32 00:01:22,554 --> 00:01:24,053 Right turn, got it. 33 00:01:24,053 --> 00:01:25,761 - Okay, yeah. - Go to the bottom of the hill. 34 00:01:25,761 --> 00:01:28,845 - I think you'll find some open. - Okay, yeah. 35 00:01:28,845 --> 00:01:30,053 Have a great day. 36 00:01:30,053 --> 00:01:32,595 Fairways and greens, Mr. David. Don't forget. 37 00:01:34,387 --> 00:01:36,137 Larry: So, every time I come in, 38 00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:38,303 it's a whole conversation. 39 00:01:38,303 --> 00:01:41,512 The worst mistake I ever made was rolling down that window, just to be nice! 40 00:01:41,512 --> 00:01:44,303 And it's been going on for months and months. 41 00:01:44,303 --> 00:01:47,220 And now, I'm in this cycle that never ends. 42 00:01:47,220 --> 00:01:50,262 Once the window goes down, it cannot go back up. 43 00:01:50,262 --> 00:01:51,637 - Richard: That's right. - You are stuck. 44 00:01:51,637 --> 00:01:53,970 I'm the only one in the club who talks to this guy. 45 00:01:53,970 --> 00:01:55,637 I guarantee you. Do you talk to him? 46 00:01:55,637 --> 00:01:57,803 Not for nine months. He's annoying as hell. 47 00:01:57,803 --> 00:01:59,554 I really would love to reset the whole relationship 48 00:01:59,554 --> 00:02:02,803 so I could just drive up, wave, and be on my way. 49 00:02:02,803 --> 00:02:04,387 I think it's a big bowl of too late. 50 00:02:04,387 --> 00:02:05,803 You're on your own. 51 00:02:05,803 --> 00:02:07,761 Secretly, 52 00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:10,303 I wish ill things on him so I don't have to do this anymore. 53 00:02:10,303 --> 00:02:12,220 It's a terrible thought, but that's what I think. 54 00:02:12,220 --> 00:02:14,720 By the way, where's my John Adams biography? 55 00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:16,554 I lent it to you about six weeks ago. 56 00:02:16,554 --> 00:02:18,011 Yeah, so sorry. 57 00:02:18,011 --> 00:02:19,137 For what reason do you want it back? 58 00:02:19,137 --> 00:02:20,512 Just to what, to impress people? 59 00:02:20,512 --> 00:02:22,886 Well, I impressed myself first that I finished it. 60 00:02:22,886 --> 00:02:24,679 - It's a big book. It's a fat book. - Did you? 61 00:02:24,679 --> 00:02:26,011 - Yes. - Did you finish it? 62 00:02:26,011 --> 00:02:27,595 Of course I finished it. 63 00:02:27,595 --> 00:02:29,637 - Really? - Yeah. 64 00:02:29,637 --> 00:02:31,761 - It was fantastic. - It was, huh? 65 00:02:31,761 --> 00:02:34,011 - Who knew about all this stuff? - Yeah. 66 00:02:34,011 --> 00:02:36,011 Thomas Jefferson, and the arguing, 67 00:02:36,011 --> 00:02:39,178 - and the White House, and-- - I'm gonna posit this. 68 00:02:39,178 --> 00:02:40,886 I don't think you read it in the first place. 69 00:02:40,886 --> 00:02:44,053 - What is this, "Dragnet"? - I don't think you read it. 70 00:02:44,053 --> 00:02:46,262 - I read the inside flap. - Okay, you read the flap. 71 00:02:46,262 --> 00:02:49,554 - Good, you read the flap. - I'll make sure he gets it back to you. 72 00:02:49,554 --> 00:02:51,220 - Good afternoon, gentlemen. - Hi. 73 00:02:51,220 --> 00:02:53,011 I see you've had a chance to take a look at the menu. 74 00:02:53,011 --> 00:02:54,845 We do have one addition today. 75 00:02:54,845 --> 00:02:58,720 It is a Dover sole sautéed in a lemon butter sauce. 76 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:02,554 - What are you getting? - I'm gonna get the beet and goat cheese salad. 77 00:03:02,554 --> 00:03:05,303 - The Vietnamese pho. - How do they prepare the Dover sole? 78 00:03:05,303 --> 00:03:08,303 - What did you say, sautéed? - It's sautéed in a lemon butter sauce. 79 00:03:08,303 --> 00:03:10,845 - Do you think they would broil it? - I could ask. 80 00:03:10,845 --> 00:03:15,053 Okay, look, ask, but if the chef makes a face of any kind, okay, 81 00:03:15,053 --> 00:03:17,137 just tell him to forget it and sauté it. 82 00:03:17,137 --> 00:03:18,845 - I understand. - Okay, thank you. 83 00:03:18,845 --> 00:03:19,970 Okay. 84 00:03:19,970 --> 00:03:21,220 Richard: Thanks. 85 00:03:21,220 --> 00:03:22,554 I cannot stay long. 86 00:03:22,554 --> 00:03:26,011 I have to go suit shopping with my daughter 87 00:03:26,011 --> 00:03:29,595 and my soon-to-be son-in-law for the wedding. 88 00:03:29,595 --> 00:03:31,845 Yeah, his daughter Sammi's getting married. 89 00:03:31,845 --> 00:03:33,720 You're kidding me. Congratulations. 90 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:37,554 - What kind of guy is he? - He served in the war in Afghanistan. 91 00:03:37,554 --> 00:03:39,345 - And, uh... - Wow. 92 00:03:39,345 --> 00:03:41,011 - Yeah. - Richard: Is he okay? 93 00:03:41,011 --> 00:03:42,803 No PTSD. He's one of the lucky ones. 94 00:03:42,803 --> 00:03:44,886 I asked the chef to broil the sole, 95 00:03:44,886 --> 00:03:46,761 and he didn't make much of a face. 96 00:03:46,761 --> 00:03:48,262 Didn't make much of a face. 97 00:03:48,262 --> 00:03:50,053 What kind of face is not much of a face? 98 00:03:50,053 --> 00:03:51,720 Well, he can be a bit inscrutable, 99 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:54,720 but I wouldn't describe it as much of a face at all. 100 00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:56,637 Hmm. I'd like to see that face. 101 00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:58,053 What did-- show it to me. 102 00:03:58,053 --> 00:04:00,512 I asked the chef if he could broil the sole, 103 00:04:00,512 --> 00:04:02,928 and he went... ( sighs ) 104 00:04:02,928 --> 00:04:04,761 ( sighs ) Like that? 105 00:04:04,761 --> 00:04:07,761 - ( sighs ) - Well, that's not much of a face. 106 00:04:07,761 --> 00:04:09,429 - No. - Okay. 107 00:04:09,429 --> 00:04:12,761 - I'll get it-- I'll get it broiled. - All right. 108 00:04:12,761 --> 00:04:15,095 - Hey, guys. - Larry: All right, thank you so much. 109 00:04:15,095 --> 00:04:17,429 - Hey, Larry. Hold on. - Okay. 110 00:04:17,429 --> 00:04:19,095 - How are you, Larry? - Hey, Ken. 111 00:04:19,095 --> 00:04:20,262 - How you doing? - Larry: Good. 112 00:04:20,262 --> 00:04:21,303 - Hey, Ken. - How are you guys? 113 00:04:21,303 --> 00:04:22,470 His wife just had a baby. 114 00:04:22,470 --> 00:04:23,886 - Oh, the baby! - Yeah. 115 00:04:23,886 --> 00:04:26,137 - You got a picture? - Boom. There you go. 116 00:04:26,137 --> 00:04:28,803 Wow! Oh! Beautiful! 117 00:04:28,803 --> 00:04:30,137 - Ken: Huh? - Lucky man. 118 00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:31,970 - Thank you so much. - Ah. 119 00:04:31,970 --> 00:04:34,011 My greatest treasure. 120 00:04:34,011 --> 00:04:36,387 You know, she looks a little Asian. 121 00:04:39,970 --> 00:04:41,970 Um, wha-what do you-- what does that mean? 122 00:04:41,970 --> 00:04:45,512 She has a look-- a little Asian look about her. 123 00:04:45,512 --> 00:04:48,803 That's-- that's weird. It's a strange thing to say, Larry. 124 00:04:48,803 --> 00:04:51,470 - Why? What's the big deal? - What are you getting at, is all I'm asking. 125 00:04:51,470 --> 00:04:53,886 'Cause most people would just say, first, she's beautiful. 126 00:04:53,886 --> 00:04:57,095 I'm saying that, you know, she just has a slight Asian look to her. 127 00:04:57,095 --> 00:04:59,470 I feel like you're maybe saying something's-- 128 00:04:59,470 --> 00:05:00,970 something's off about her. 129 00:05:00,970 --> 00:05:03,053 I'm not saying-- something's on about it. 130 00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:04,303 It's good. It's a good thing. 131 00:05:04,303 --> 00:05:05,470 - Uh-huh. - That's a compliment. 132 00:05:05,470 --> 00:05:06,886 - In what way? - Huge. 133 00:05:06,886 --> 00:05:08,429 - How so? - She's exotic. 134 00:05:08,429 --> 00:05:10,345 I-- I wish I looked a little Asian. 135 00:05:10,345 --> 00:05:11,554 Look, I just wanna walk away. 136 00:05:11,554 --> 00:05:13,178 Can you just-- just take it back 137 00:05:13,178 --> 00:05:15,178 so we can just put this behind us? 138 00:05:15,178 --> 00:05:17,137 I can apologize for offending you, 139 00:05:17,137 --> 00:05:18,803 but I can't take back the remark. 140 00:05:18,803 --> 00:05:23,011 I just want you to say, "This was my fault. I apologize." 141 00:05:23,011 --> 00:05:24,178 And then I can move on. 142 00:05:24,178 --> 00:05:25,720 It's my fault for offending you. 143 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:28,178 I apologize. But she does look a little Asian. 144 00:05:28,178 --> 00:05:30,011 - Okay, goodbye. - ( Jeff groans ) 145 00:05:30,011 --> 00:05:31,720 - Richard: We all think she's gorgeous. - I'm-- I'm sorry, Ken. 146 00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:33,803 I'm sorry. It's a cute baby, 147 00:05:33,803 --> 00:05:36,011 but she does look a little-- you didn't think she looked a little Asian? 148 00:05:36,011 --> 00:05:36,928 She looked a little Asian. 149 00:05:39,845 --> 00:05:41,303 ( doorbell rings ) 150 00:05:44,470 --> 00:05:47,886 - Who's there? - Woman: U.S. Postal Service. 151 00:05:47,886 --> 00:05:50,679 ( lock clicks ) 152 00:05:50,679 --> 00:05:53,262 Mr. David? I need a signature. 153 00:05:53,262 --> 00:05:56,803 Are you, uh-- are you the new mailman? 154 00:05:56,803 --> 00:05:58,679 - Mailwoman? - Mail carrier. 155 00:05:58,679 --> 00:06:01,554 - Huh, okay. Mail carrier. - Yeah. 156 00:06:02,928 --> 00:06:05,554 Great. I will take this. 157 00:06:05,554 --> 00:06:08,011 - You will take these. - All right. Okay. 158 00:06:08,011 --> 00:06:09,637 And I will take my pen. 159 00:06:09,637 --> 00:06:11,220 - Oh, yeah. - Thank you. 160 00:06:11,220 --> 00:06:13,554 - People, they steal pens a lot. - They really do, don't they? 161 00:06:13,554 --> 00:06:15,803 - I bet you lose a lot of those... - I have a truck full of 'em. 162 00:06:15,803 --> 00:06:18,637 I haven't talked to a mailman in a long-- 163 00:06:18,637 --> 00:06:20,387 mail carrier in a long time. 164 00:06:20,387 --> 00:06:22,595 I remember in my building in Brooklyn growing up, 165 00:06:22,595 --> 00:06:24,970 the women, they used to flirt with the mailmen. 166 00:06:24,970 --> 00:06:27,095 They'd come down in the morning with their shmatas. 167 00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:28,928 - You know, it was-- - What's a shmata? 168 00:06:28,928 --> 00:06:31,345 A shm-- it's a-- like, a disgusting house dress. 169 00:06:31,345 --> 00:06:32,928 - It's-- they're hideous. - Oh, boy. Oh. 170 00:06:32,928 --> 00:06:34,512 You know, my mother used to encourage me 171 00:06:34,512 --> 00:06:36,095 to work in the post office when I was younger 172 00:06:36,095 --> 00:06:38,679 'cause she didn't think I could amount to anything. 173 00:06:38,679 --> 00:06:41,387 - And look what happened. - And that's not to say that you couldn't amount to anything. 174 00:06:41,387 --> 00:06:44,345 ( chuckles ) But, you know, she felt that way about me 175 00:06:44,345 --> 00:06:47,637 'cause she wanted me to have the security of a job, that's all, you know. 176 00:06:47,637 --> 00:06:49,220 And she thought it would be easy for me. 177 00:06:49,220 --> 00:06:52,429 Not that it's easy, but she thought it'd be easy for me, 178 00:06:52,429 --> 00:06:53,679 because it's not that much doing. 179 00:06:53,679 --> 00:06:54,845 You bring mail, you drop it off. 180 00:06:54,845 --> 00:06:56,595 She thought I could do this. 181 00:06:56,595 --> 00:07:01,095 Uh, yeah. Anyway, you could do me a big favor. 182 00:07:01,095 --> 00:07:02,554 Not big, small favor. 183 00:07:02,554 --> 00:07:04,429 I-- I don't wanna taint the favor. 184 00:07:04,429 --> 00:07:06,095 - It's a small favor. - Okay. 185 00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:10,512 Is Richard Lewis on your route? He must be. 186 00:07:10,512 --> 00:07:13,761 - Richard-- two blocks over? - Yes. Have you been to his house yet today? 187 00:07:13,761 --> 00:07:16,053 Not yet. No. 188 00:07:16,053 --> 00:07:17,595 Could you drop a book off for me? 189 00:07:17,595 --> 00:07:19,345 I absolutely could. 190 00:07:19,345 --> 00:07:21,970 You'd need to package it up and put on a stamp. 191 00:07:21,970 --> 00:07:23,303 Look, I could do that. 192 00:07:23,303 --> 00:07:25,095 I mean, the idea is that you're going there. 193 00:07:25,095 --> 00:07:27,679 Why not just drop the book off, do me a little favor? 194 00:07:27,679 --> 00:07:28,970 It's a little favor. It's nothing. 195 00:07:28,970 --> 00:07:30,470 I'm pretty sure the U.S. government 196 00:07:30,470 --> 00:07:33,720 would consider that free mail, which is kind of illegal. 197 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:35,886 Don't be such a stickler. Why are you being such a stickler? 198 00:07:35,886 --> 00:07:38,178 - It's just-- - Do you think that's a good quality, stickling? 199 00:07:38,178 --> 00:07:41,137 - Don't stickle. Don't be a stickler. - Don't be a stickler? 200 00:07:41,137 --> 00:07:43,387 No. You know what, if you were going on a computer date, 201 00:07:43,387 --> 00:07:47,137 one of those things, and you put down "stickler," nobody would call you. 202 00:07:47,137 --> 00:07:49,429 Well, it might be why I'm still single. 203 00:07:49,429 --> 00:07:51,137 Ah. 204 00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:55,095 Susie: Hey, Jeff, did you tell Lewis about our new kitchen? 205 00:07:55,095 --> 00:07:57,137 - No, I did not. - In the new house? 206 00:07:57,137 --> 00:08:00,178 Richie, it is massive, this new kitchen. 207 00:08:00,178 --> 00:08:03,137 I mean, it is just magnificent. 208 00:08:03,137 --> 00:08:05,053 You, especially, are going to appreciate it. 209 00:08:05,053 --> 00:08:08,512 - I can't wait, honey. - Why are you especially? 210 00:08:08,512 --> 00:08:10,178 - I have no fucking idea. - Larry: Yeah, I... 211 00:08:10,178 --> 00:08:13,137 Can I just say something? It was a genius idea to start with. 212 00:08:13,137 --> 00:08:15,928 - Oh, fantastic. - You know, for a married man, a realtor? 213 00:08:15,928 --> 00:08:18,679 - Come on, man. The best. - Oh, Jeff, 214 00:08:18,679 --> 00:08:21,303 can you go to the basement and get me a couple bottles of wine? 215 00:08:21,303 --> 00:08:22,845 A red and a white, please? 216 00:08:22,845 --> 00:08:25,053 Could I? Well, I think I could. 217 00:08:25,053 --> 00:08:26,178 I think I could. 218 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:29,679 Thank you. 219 00:08:29,679 --> 00:08:31,345 Hey, did you get the book? 220 00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:32,512 Yeah, yeah. 221 00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:35,637 Oh, the mailwoman, wow! 222 00:08:35,637 --> 00:08:36,720 She's gorgeous. 223 00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:38,220 I'm thinking of making a move. 224 00:08:38,220 --> 00:08:40,220 - On the mailwoman? - I don't care what she does. 225 00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:42,595 No profession's off-limits to me if a woman's attractive. 226 00:08:42,595 --> 00:08:45,387 All men are like that. We don't care about what they do. 227 00:08:45,387 --> 00:08:47,554 We care about what they look like. Women are just the opposite. 228 00:08:47,554 --> 00:08:50,053 I think you might be right. I dated a garbagewoman. 229 00:08:50,053 --> 00:08:52,303 - And we'd shower. - You dated your garbagewoman? 230 00:08:52,303 --> 00:08:53,970 We had the shower, that was the only thing. 231 00:08:53,970 --> 00:08:55,595 Yeah, she was great and smart, but she needed the money. 232 00:08:55,595 --> 00:08:57,720 - She had a couple of kids. - I never even saw 233 00:08:57,720 --> 00:08:58,720 a garbagewoman in my life. 234 00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:00,011 You make up this story to me 235 00:09:00,011 --> 00:09:01,595 about fucking a garbagewoman? 236 00:09:01,595 --> 00:09:03,262 - A story would be this-- - That's really odd to me 237 00:09:03,262 --> 00:09:05,303 that you would make up this story for what? 238 00:09:05,303 --> 00:09:07,262 - No, here's a fact-- - So I would think 239 00:09:07,262 --> 00:09:09,803 that you fucked a garbagewoman? Why do you want me to think that? 240 00:09:09,803 --> 00:09:11,845 - I didn't see her as a garbagewoman. - Susie: Hey, Lar? 241 00:09:11,845 --> 00:09:14,303 All right, we're-- we're done. Yeah. 242 00:09:14,303 --> 00:09:17,345 - Hey, Lar, eat something. - Hey. 243 00:09:17,345 --> 00:09:18,970 - Are these washed? - Of course. 244 00:09:18,970 --> 00:09:20,928 What are you-- what kind of question is that to ask me? 245 00:09:20,928 --> 00:09:23,761 - They look a little sticky. - They're washed and organic. 246 00:09:23,761 --> 00:09:26,178 Hey, I got the wedding invite. 247 00:09:26,178 --> 00:09:28,262 - No, you didn't. - I didn't? 248 00:09:28,262 --> 00:09:30,387 No, that was a save the date. That was not the invite. 249 00:09:30,387 --> 00:09:31,761 I haven't even had them printed yet. 250 00:09:31,761 --> 00:09:33,262 - Save the date? - Yeah. 251 00:09:33,262 --> 00:09:35,262 Are you serious? That's so stupid. 252 00:09:35,262 --> 00:09:36,679 Larry, everybody saves dates. 253 00:09:36,679 --> 00:09:37,803 I don't save dates. 254 00:09:37,803 --> 00:09:38,928 The whole system's screwed up. 255 00:09:38,928 --> 00:09:40,637 You don't need to send me something 256 00:09:40,637 --> 00:09:42,886 to tell me you're gonna send me something, just send it. 257 00:09:42,886 --> 00:09:45,554 If I'm saying something to you, I don't say to you, 258 00:09:45,554 --> 00:09:47,595 "I'm gonna say something to you," and then say it. 259 00:09:47,595 --> 00:09:50,761 - I just say it. - This is the way things are done, okay, asshole? 260 00:09:50,761 --> 00:09:52,970 You're gonna come, and you're gonna enjoy it! 261 00:09:54,470 --> 00:09:56,512 All right. Watch this. 262 00:09:58,761 --> 00:10:00,637 - Terrific. - Ta-da! 263 00:10:00,637 --> 00:10:03,095 - Unbelievable. - ( chuckles ) Ta-- come on. 264 00:10:03,095 --> 00:10:06,803 - Ah, look who's here! The happy couple. - Hi, everybody. 265 00:10:06,803 --> 00:10:08,470 - Mrs. Greene. - Oh, my baby. 266 00:10:08,470 --> 00:10:11,220 - Hi, Mom. - ( kisses ) Victor, my boy. 267 00:10:11,220 --> 00:10:12,637 - How you doing? How you doing? - ( kisses ) 268 00:10:12,637 --> 00:10:14,803 Okay, so this is our friend, Richard Lewis. 269 00:10:14,803 --> 00:10:18,053 - Thank you for your service, bro. - Oh, thank you. Thank you. 270 00:10:18,053 --> 00:10:19,928 And our neighbors, Leslie and John. 271 00:10:19,928 --> 00:10:22,137 What a hero you are. Thank you for your service. 272 00:10:22,137 --> 00:10:23,970 Oh, thank you. The real heroes are still there, 273 00:10:23,970 --> 00:10:25,554 - but I appreciate that. - Thank you for your service. 274 00:10:25,554 --> 00:10:27,137 - Thank you. - You have a grateful nation. 275 00:10:27,137 --> 00:10:28,886 And this is our friend, Larry. 276 00:10:28,886 --> 00:10:29,970 - Hey. - Hey. 277 00:10:29,970 --> 00:10:30,886 Nice to meet you. 278 00:10:40,387 --> 00:10:44,053 Um, yeah, it's, uh... ( chuckles ) 279 00:10:44,053 --> 00:10:47,137 You know what? Um, I'm gonna excuse myself. 280 00:10:47,137 --> 00:10:49,053 Victor. 281 00:10:49,053 --> 00:10:51,845 - Victor. - Huh? What-- what's...? 282 00:10:51,845 --> 00:10:54,220 You didn't thank him for his service, asshole. 283 00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:56,803 They thanked him. Three people thanked him. Why do I have to thank him? 284 00:10:56,803 --> 00:10:58,928 Fuck, how hard would it have been? "Thank you for your service." 285 00:10:58,928 --> 00:11:01,011 Does everybody have to thank him for his service? 286 00:11:01,011 --> 00:11:02,761 Now you've ruined everything, Larry. 287 00:11:02,761 --> 00:11:04,554 I'm making all this delicious salmon, 288 00:11:04,554 --> 00:11:06,095 and the whole night is ruined. 289 00:11:06,095 --> 00:11:07,970 - Are you sautéing that? - Yes. 290 00:11:07,970 --> 00:11:09,262 Would you mind broiling mine? 291 00:11:11,011 --> 00:11:13,803 - That a face? - Get the fuck out. Leave. 292 00:11:13,803 --> 00:11:15,303 Hmm. Okay. 293 00:11:15,303 --> 00:11:17,137 - Thank you for serving the hors d'oeuvres. - Out! 294 00:11:17,137 --> 00:11:19,845 Um, thank you for being a very good manager. 295 00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:21,928 Thank you for coming over in this brisk weather. 296 00:11:21,928 --> 00:11:23,970 Thank you for leaving! 297 00:11:23,970 --> 00:11:26,803 Larry: Must be a lot of work carrying the mail bag around. 298 00:11:26,803 --> 00:11:28,095 You know what you could use? 299 00:11:28,095 --> 00:11:29,803 You could use a caddy on the route. 300 00:11:29,803 --> 00:11:32,053 - I would love a mail caddy. - Right? 301 00:11:32,053 --> 00:11:34,053 - Are you kidding me? - They carry the mail for you. 302 00:11:34,053 --> 00:11:36,262 - Yes. - 'Cause you walk as much as I do on a golf course. 303 00:11:36,262 --> 00:11:37,928 - And you're, you know-- you're carrying-- - Probably more. 304 00:11:37,928 --> 00:11:39,554 - I have a caddy. - I would love a mail caddy. 305 00:11:39,554 --> 00:11:41,637 They'll give you instructions. "Okay, go up the path, 306 00:11:41,637 --> 00:11:44,387 make a right, you know, watch out for the dog." 307 00:11:44,387 --> 00:11:46,011 - Yeah. - I'll mail caddy for you. 308 00:11:46,011 --> 00:11:47,220 - Would you? - Yeah. 309 00:11:47,220 --> 00:11:48,470 Just talk to the U.S. government. 310 00:11:48,470 --> 00:11:50,011 I think your mom would be so proud. 311 00:11:50,011 --> 00:11:51,387 All right, so what do you want again? 312 00:11:51,387 --> 00:11:53,095 Do you want the-- did you say Milk Duds? 313 00:11:53,095 --> 00:11:54,387 - Milk Duds, Reese's Pieces... - Really? 314 00:11:54,387 --> 00:11:56,387 ...Junior Mints, popcorn-- big popcorn. 315 00:11:56,387 --> 00:11:59,554 - And we'll mix them all together. It's... - We'll what? 316 00:11:59,554 --> 00:12:01,845 Oh, it's-- it's like the perfect bite. 317 00:12:01,845 --> 00:12:03,928 It's, like, a little sweet and a little salty. 318 00:12:03,928 --> 00:12:05,928 - The textures-- - What are you mixing sweet and salty for? 319 00:12:05,928 --> 00:12:07,512 They're-- they're in conflict. 320 00:12:07,512 --> 00:12:08,928 No, they're in cahoots. 321 00:12:08,928 --> 00:12:12,470 I don't want Reese's Pieces in my popcorn. 322 00:12:12,470 --> 00:12:15,470 It's the perfect movie treat, I promise. 323 00:12:15,470 --> 00:12:16,845 Do you have the tickets? 324 00:12:16,845 --> 00:12:18,053 Oh, yeah. Here you go. 325 00:12:18,053 --> 00:12:19,595 Oh, hey, thanks. All right. 326 00:12:19,595 --> 00:12:20,928 - I'll get a seat. - Eh, get me an aisle. 327 00:12:20,928 --> 00:12:22,470 - Thank you. - Okay. 328 00:12:24,262 --> 00:12:27,178 ( film music playing ) 329 00:12:27,178 --> 00:12:28,845 Jean? Jean? 330 00:12:35,637 --> 00:12:36,720 Jean? 331 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:38,137 - ( horse neighs ) - Jean? 332 00:12:38,137 --> 00:12:40,429 Jean? Jean? 333 00:12:40,429 --> 00:12:42,387 - Jean? - Man: Shh. 334 00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:44,303 ( whispers ) Yeah, okay, okay. 335 00:12:44,303 --> 00:12:45,970 Sorry, sorry. 336 00:12:45,970 --> 00:12:47,886 - Jean? - Man: Shh. 337 00:12:47,886 --> 00:12:49,970 Jean? Jean? Jean! 338 00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:52,137 I'm right here. I'm here. 339 00:12:52,137 --> 00:12:54,387 Oh, there you are. Great. 340 00:12:54,387 --> 00:12:56,595 Excuse me. Sorry. Excuse me. 341 00:12:56,595 --> 00:12:59,303 Sorry. Excuse me. Excuse me. 342 00:12:59,303 --> 00:13:01,554 - You're so loud. - I'm so loud? 343 00:13:01,554 --> 00:13:03,845 I don't understand. I've been looking for you for five minutes. 344 00:13:03,845 --> 00:13:06,345 - How come you didn't beckon? - Why didn't-- why didn't I beckon? 345 00:13:06,345 --> 00:13:08,928 Yes, you beckon. You knew I was coming into the theater. 346 00:13:08,928 --> 00:13:11,137 You gotta wave. You gotta go like this so I can see you. 347 00:13:11,137 --> 00:13:12,387 Just look around. I'm right here. 348 00:13:12,387 --> 00:13:14,137 You-- I can't see anything from down there. 349 00:13:14,137 --> 00:13:15,761 I'm not gonna make a scene. 350 00:13:15,761 --> 00:13:17,137 Oh, who's telling you to make a scene? 351 00:13:17,137 --> 00:13:19,429 Just wave. Beckon. Beckon. You gotta beckon. 352 00:13:19,429 --> 00:13:22,137 - That's making a scene. - Beckoning is not making a scene. 353 00:13:22,137 --> 00:13:25,095 Making a scene is calling out the name Jean 10 times. 354 00:13:25,095 --> 00:13:27,470 - Man: Would you shut up? - You shut up. 355 00:13:27,470 --> 00:13:28,803 Didn't have to call out my name. 356 00:13:28,803 --> 00:13:30,262 I did because I couldn't find you. 357 00:13:30,262 --> 00:13:32,637 - All you had to do was look. - I did look. 358 00:13:41,512 --> 00:13:43,512 What the fuck is going on here? 359 00:13:48,011 --> 00:13:49,637 ( sighs ) 360 00:13:53,928 --> 00:13:57,220 Okay, well, guess I'll see you tomorrow. 361 00:13:57,220 --> 00:13:59,720 Yeah, yeah, you're delivering. 362 00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:02,137 Yeah. 363 00:14:02,137 --> 00:14:04,178 You know what? 364 00:14:04,178 --> 00:14:06,886 I think we ought to go back 365 00:14:06,886 --> 00:14:10,053 to our previous relationship of homeowner and mailwoman. 366 00:14:10,053 --> 00:14:14,011 'Cause I gotta tell you, I have a very difficult time dating somebody who I'm seeing 367 00:14:14,011 --> 00:14:16,387 on a daily basis-- with you-- like, six times a week. 368 00:14:16,387 --> 00:14:19,387 You know, I've gotta psych myself up for dates. It's a big performance. 369 00:14:19,387 --> 00:14:22,429 I gotta shower and shave and prepare witticisms, 370 00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:24,512 and, you know, it's-- it's a whole thing, and-- 371 00:14:24,512 --> 00:14:25,803 Is this what you did for tonight? 372 00:14:25,803 --> 00:14:27,970 Did you prepare witticisms for tonight? 373 00:14:27,970 --> 00:14:31,095 Yeah, that whole thing about the made-up Jewish holiday "Shecooktus," 374 00:14:31,095 --> 00:14:33,720 that was all-- that was prepared beforehand, yeah. 375 00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:35,011 - Oh. - Yeah. 376 00:14:35,011 --> 00:14:36,554 If you-- if you're working for UPS 377 00:14:36,554 --> 00:14:38,761 and I saw you maybe two times a week, 378 00:14:38,761 --> 00:14:40,220 that would be-- that would be fine. 379 00:14:40,220 --> 00:14:42,970 But I-- I have to see you six times a week. 380 00:14:42,970 --> 00:14:46,053 So, I'd love to hit the reset button and just, you know, 381 00:14:46,053 --> 00:14:48,303 we go back to, uh, homeowner-mailwoman. 382 00:14:48,303 --> 00:14:50,262 No. 383 00:14:50,262 --> 00:14:52,387 - Why not-- wha-- no? - No. 384 00:14:52,387 --> 00:14:55,262 What, you feel we're beyond resetting? 385 00:14:55,262 --> 00:14:58,053 - Yeah, I think we are. - Why? 386 00:14:58,053 --> 00:14:59,595 - Why? - Yeah, you reset. 387 00:14:59,595 --> 00:15:01,303 - Let's hit the button. - I don't think I can do that. 388 00:15:01,303 --> 00:15:02,845 Yeah, we hit the-- we hit the big button. 389 00:15:02,845 --> 00:15:04,679 You can't just press a button. 390 00:15:04,679 --> 00:15:06,095 You can't just press a button. 391 00:15:06,095 --> 00:15:07,387 Why-- why not? 392 00:15:10,053 --> 00:15:11,803 That a face? 393 00:15:11,803 --> 00:15:13,429 - ( sighs ) - What was it? 394 00:15:13,429 --> 00:15:14,886 What did the face mean? 395 00:15:17,137 --> 00:15:18,512 What? 396 00:15:21,928 --> 00:15:23,637 Good-- good night. 397 00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:31,011 ( sighs ) 398 00:15:31,011 --> 00:15:32,595 - Mr. David. - Hey, Sal. 399 00:15:32,595 --> 00:15:34,345 What ever happened to rabbit ears? 400 00:15:34,345 --> 00:15:36,928 I can't tell you how many times my cable has gone down 401 00:15:36,928 --> 00:15:38,679 right in the middle of one of my favorite shows. 402 00:15:38,679 --> 00:15:40,303 - Really? - Has that ever happened to you? 403 00:15:40,303 --> 00:15:41,554 It's one of those things. 404 00:15:41,554 --> 00:15:42,970 You're sitting, you're enjoying, 405 00:15:42,970 --> 00:15:44,679 you've got a nice little cup of coffee made, 406 00:15:44,679 --> 00:15:47,137 you're ready to enjoy the news, a little TV show-- 407 00:15:47,137 --> 00:15:48,637 boom, what happens? 408 00:15:48,637 --> 00:15:50,303 The cable goes down. 409 00:15:50,303 --> 00:15:51,970 - Sal, Sal. - Isn't it horrible? 410 00:15:51,970 --> 00:15:55,137 ( stammering ) We can't do this anymore. 411 00:15:55,137 --> 00:15:56,512 Do what, sir? 412 00:15:56,512 --> 00:15:59,512 I'd like to hit the reset button on our relationship 413 00:15:59,512 --> 00:16:01,345 and-- and go back to the way it was 414 00:16:01,345 --> 00:16:04,679 before I ever put the window down and started talking. 415 00:16:04,679 --> 00:16:08,303 You know, just drive in with the window up, wave, and-- and move on. 416 00:16:08,303 --> 00:16:10,970 - You know, like everybody else. - You don't enjoy our conversations? 417 00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:13,178 No, I wouldn't say I don't enjoy them, but... 418 00:16:13,178 --> 00:16:15,262 - I haven't upset you in any way... - No, I'm just-- 419 00:16:15,262 --> 00:16:17,387 - I'm very anxious to play-- - I don't mean to be forward, sir. 420 00:16:17,387 --> 00:16:19,429 No, no, no, it's nothing like that at all. 421 00:16:19,429 --> 00:16:21,595 - I just like to get to the golf course. - Yes, of course. 422 00:16:21,595 --> 00:16:23,345 - You want to play with your friends. - Yeah. Yeah. 423 00:16:23,345 --> 00:16:25,470 I understand exactly what you're saying, Mr. David. 424 00:16:25,470 --> 00:16:27,554 - I'm excited to play, and I can't-- - Well, you can be excited. 425 00:16:27,554 --> 00:16:29,512 - You won't have me to worry about anymore. - I'm not-- 426 00:16:29,512 --> 00:16:31,928 I'm not worried about-- it wasn't that. 427 00:16:31,928 --> 00:16:33,761 Come on, d-don't be mad. 428 00:16:33,761 --> 00:16:35,679 - I'm not mad, sir. - I mean, I'll still drive by. 429 00:16:35,679 --> 00:16:37,262 I'll still see you with the window up, 430 00:16:37,262 --> 00:16:39,970 and-- I'll see you with the window up and I'll wave, 431 00:16:39,970 --> 00:16:42,220 you know, the way-- the way it used to be. 432 00:16:42,220 --> 00:16:44,011 Good. ( sniffs ) 433 00:16:44,011 --> 00:16:45,512 Good day, mister. 434 00:16:47,303 --> 00:16:49,470 Eh. Ah. 435 00:16:49,470 --> 00:16:51,053 Sorry. 436 00:16:51,053 --> 00:16:52,720 Sorry. 437 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:53,803 I'm sorry. 438 00:16:59,303 --> 00:17:03,554 Listen, I guess, I don't wanna keep harping on it, 439 00:17:03,554 --> 00:17:06,679 but Victor is so obsessed. 440 00:17:06,679 --> 00:17:10,387 I won't even say hurt. He's obsessed with you not thanking him for his service. 441 00:17:10,387 --> 00:17:13,095 - It really makes him nuts. - There's something about the expression 442 00:17:13,095 --> 00:17:15,220 that I can't quite get it out of my mouth. 443 00:17:15,220 --> 00:17:16,720 'Cause remember, he loves "Seinfeld," 444 00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:18,803 was so looking forward to spending time with you. 445 00:17:18,803 --> 00:17:21,637 - He just wanted you to... - Wow, really? My God. 446 00:17:21,637 --> 00:17:24,637 - Just acknowledge the guy. - Is there anything I can do? 447 00:17:24,637 --> 00:17:26,720 Should I take him out to lunch? 448 00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:30,220 ( scoffs ) You know that Sal 449 00:17:30,220 --> 00:17:31,845 at the gate, the security guard? 450 00:17:31,845 --> 00:17:34,512 - Mm-hmm. - He does this, um, 451 00:17:34,512 --> 00:17:36,761 Revolutionary War reenactment stuff. 452 00:17:36,761 --> 00:17:40,803 - There's one coming up right here at Will Rogers. - Okay. 453 00:17:40,803 --> 00:17:43,429 Do you have any idea how big that would be for him? 454 00:17:43,429 --> 00:17:45,095 I've heard him talk about those things. 455 00:17:45,095 --> 00:17:47,886 - Really? - Yes. He's never gone. 456 00:17:47,886 --> 00:17:50,928 He will love it! Oh, my God, would he love it. 457 00:17:50,928 --> 00:17:53,178 W-we'll do-- we'll dress up as soldiers. 458 00:17:53,178 --> 00:17:55,137 - You dress on up. - I'd love to. 459 00:17:55,137 --> 00:17:56,928 - So it is a good thing you lowered your window. - Yeah. 460 00:17:56,928 --> 00:17:58,845 Sir, Mr. Takahashi would like a word with you. 461 00:17:58,845 --> 00:18:00,595 Okay. 462 00:18:00,595 --> 00:18:02,095 Well, send him my best. 463 00:18:02,095 --> 00:18:03,387 This can't be good. 464 00:18:07,095 --> 00:18:08,554 Ah, hey, Chef Curtis. 465 00:18:08,554 --> 00:18:10,512 - Oh, hi. - Hi. You got a second? 466 00:18:10,512 --> 00:18:11,637 Uh, sure. 467 00:18:11,637 --> 00:18:13,761 Do you remember the other day, 468 00:18:13,761 --> 00:18:18,554 uh, a waiter asked if you would broil the sole? 469 00:18:18,554 --> 00:18:20,512 - Yeah, that's, um-- yep. - Remember that? 470 00:18:20,512 --> 00:18:24,095 And I'm wondering when he asked you that question, 471 00:18:24,095 --> 00:18:27,178 did you-- did you make a face, by any chance? 472 00:18:27,178 --> 00:18:31,262 - I may have made a small face, probably. Sure. - You made a small face? 473 00:18:31,262 --> 00:18:33,303 Would you mind showing me that face? 474 00:18:33,303 --> 00:18:35,429 - I'd love to see it. - It's-- I don't-- 475 00:18:35,429 --> 00:18:37,429 - I don't think that's-- mm. - I'd love-- I'd love to see the face. 476 00:18:37,429 --> 00:18:39,637 Eh, nobody's watching. Come on, make a face, make a face. 477 00:18:39,637 --> 00:18:43,053 ( sighs ) It was probably something like... 478 00:18:43,053 --> 00:18:44,595 ( sputters ) 479 00:18:44,595 --> 00:18:46,803 - Really? - Yeah, that's... 480 00:18:46,803 --> 00:18:49,470 ( stammering ) You did a semi-horse whinny? 481 00:18:49,470 --> 00:18:51,761 I-- I mean, if you wanna call it that, sure. 482 00:18:51,761 --> 00:18:53,387 Wow, that's a pretty strong reaction. 483 00:18:53,387 --> 00:18:54,470 Well, it was a strong request. 484 00:18:54,470 --> 00:18:55,720 - Was it? - Yeah. 485 00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:58,220 You know, I prepare it the way I prepare it 486 00:18:58,220 --> 00:19:00,761 - because it's better. - I gotta tell you something. 487 00:19:00,761 --> 00:19:03,554 That's not the face that the waiter presented to me. 488 00:19:03,554 --> 00:19:05,178 The face that was presented to me was more like... 489 00:19:05,178 --> 00:19:08,303 - ( blowing breath ) - I don't... 490 00:19:08,303 --> 00:19:09,845 No, I would never make that face. 491 00:19:09,845 --> 00:19:12,470 That face doesn't even communicate anything. 492 00:19:12,470 --> 00:19:13,928 ( blowing breath ) What's that? 493 00:19:13,928 --> 00:19:16,178 Well, maybe-- maybe it was more... ( exhales ) 494 00:19:16,178 --> 00:19:18,220 ( blows breath ) No, that's-- I don't... 495 00:19:18,220 --> 00:19:19,720 It was definitely an expulsion-- 496 00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:22,011 there was an expulsion of air, I'm sure. ( blows ) 497 00:19:22,011 --> 00:19:23,178 - ( blows ) - ( blows ) 498 00:19:23,178 --> 00:19:25,845 ( blows ) 499 00:19:25,845 --> 00:19:28,011 - ( blows ) - That doesn't seem close. 500 00:19:28,011 --> 00:19:29,845 - Not close? - No, it doesn't seem close. 501 00:19:29,845 --> 00:19:31,845 All right, so, anyway, I want to apologize. 502 00:19:31,845 --> 00:19:33,845 Had I known that you made a horse whinny with an eye roll, 503 00:19:33,845 --> 00:19:35,345 I never would've told you to broil it. 504 00:19:35,345 --> 00:19:37,011 - I made a face, so... - Oh, you know what? 505 00:19:37,011 --> 00:19:38,970 Well, yes, look, there he is right here. 506 00:19:38,970 --> 00:19:41,303 I'm gonna go talk to him. Hey. 507 00:19:41,303 --> 00:19:45,303 So, uh, remember the other day, 508 00:19:45,303 --> 00:19:48,470 you made the face the, uh-- the chef made for me? 509 00:19:48,470 --> 00:19:49,387 I remember. 510 00:19:49,387 --> 00:19:50,970 Yeah, well... ( chuckles ) 511 00:19:50,970 --> 00:19:55,470 I gotta say, you weren't even-- not even close. 512 00:19:55,470 --> 00:19:57,262 Massively undersold it. 513 00:19:57,262 --> 00:19:58,761 What are you talking about? 514 00:19:58,761 --> 00:20:01,178 The chef said that he went like this... 515 00:20:01,178 --> 00:20:02,928 ( sputters ) 516 00:20:02,928 --> 00:20:05,554 - No. - That's nothing like what you did. 517 00:20:05,554 --> 00:20:08,053 No, when I went back to him, I said, "Can you broil the sole?" 518 00:20:08,053 --> 00:20:10,345 And he said... ( blows breath ) 519 00:20:10,345 --> 00:20:13,303 And I came back and I showed you... ( blows breath ) 520 00:20:13,303 --> 00:20:15,303 No, the chef went... ( sputters ) 521 00:20:15,303 --> 00:20:17,262 - with an eye roll and-- - I mean, he looked up. 522 00:20:17,262 --> 00:20:19,554 - I don't think it was an eye roll. - It was definitely an eye roll. 523 00:20:19,554 --> 00:20:22,095 Shh. He went... ( blows breath ) 524 00:20:22,095 --> 00:20:24,928 Not even-- not even that. He went... ( exhales ) 525 00:20:24,928 --> 00:20:26,429 ( blowing breath ) 526 00:20:26,429 --> 00:20:29,429 No. According to him, he was... ( sputtering ) 527 00:20:29,429 --> 00:20:33,595 No. I went in, and I said, "Can you broil it?" He said... ( blows ) 528 00:20:33,595 --> 00:20:37,178 I said-- and then I came back to you and I said... ( blowing ) 529 00:20:37,178 --> 00:20:39,137 - ( blows ) - ( blows ) 530 00:20:39,137 --> 00:20:40,303 - ( blows ) - ( blows ) 531 00:20:40,303 --> 00:20:43,011 - ( blows ) - ( blows ) 532 00:20:43,011 --> 00:20:45,679 All right, well, it's a little confusing, I must say. 533 00:20:45,679 --> 00:20:47,761 I brought you exactly what he gave me. 534 00:20:47,761 --> 00:20:49,761 It's a clash of faces. 535 00:20:52,095 --> 00:20:53,637 - ( knocking on door ) - Enter. 536 00:20:55,679 --> 00:20:57,303 You wanna see me, Mr. Takahashi? 537 00:20:57,303 --> 00:20:59,011 - Yes. - Close the door? 538 00:20:59,011 --> 00:20:59,886 Yes. 539 00:21:04,387 --> 00:21:05,262 No. 540 00:21:06,303 --> 00:21:08,512 Um... 541 00:21:08,512 --> 00:21:12,761 so, what is the nature of the summons? 542 00:21:12,761 --> 00:21:15,470 It has been brought to my attention 543 00:21:15,470 --> 00:21:20,429 that you have disgraced Ken Carmen and his wife, Shelly. 544 00:21:20,429 --> 00:21:21,928 Oh, no. 545 00:21:21,928 --> 00:21:23,637 I made a comment about their child. 546 00:21:23,637 --> 00:21:25,178 I said it looked a little Asian, 547 00:21:25,178 --> 00:21:26,761 and it does look a little Asian. 548 00:21:26,761 --> 00:21:28,679 So what? It's a compliment-- 549 00:21:28,679 --> 00:21:30,512 Stop! 550 00:21:30,512 --> 00:21:33,886 We will decide what punitive action to take. 551 00:21:33,886 --> 00:21:35,970 Punitive action? Why? Wh-why? 552 00:21:35,970 --> 00:21:37,470 Expect a letter soon. 553 00:21:37,470 --> 00:21:39,470 - Soon? - Yes. 554 00:21:39,470 --> 00:21:41,011 A day? Two days? Four days? 555 00:21:41,011 --> 00:21:42,429 Everybody know what "soon" is. 556 00:21:42,429 --> 00:21:43,595 I don't know what "soon" is. 557 00:21:43,595 --> 00:21:44,803 Soon is soon. 558 00:21:44,803 --> 00:21:46,053 - Soon is not soon. - Soon is soon. 559 00:21:46,053 --> 00:21:47,011 Soon is not soon. 560 00:21:47,011 --> 00:21:50,011 Soon is when I say it is. 561 00:21:50,011 --> 00:21:52,429 All right, I'll expect a letter in a couple of days 562 00:21:52,429 --> 00:21:53,970 unless you tell me otherwise right now. 563 00:21:53,970 --> 00:21:54,845 Go! 564 00:21:57,970 --> 00:21:59,053 Go. 565 00:22:00,679 --> 00:22:03,470 Hey, did you get the mail today? 566 00:22:03,470 --> 00:22:05,679 - Haven't seen any mail. - Did you check the box? 567 00:22:05,679 --> 00:22:07,178 Twice. No mail. 568 00:22:07,178 --> 00:22:09,803 - Haven't seen any mail in three days. - ( sighs ) 569 00:22:11,554 --> 00:22:13,470 ( phone ringing ) 570 00:22:14,845 --> 00:22:16,387 Hello. Who is it? 571 00:22:16,387 --> 00:22:19,011 Hey. Did, uh-- did you get mail today? 572 00:22:19,011 --> 00:22:20,512 Of course I got the mail today. 573 00:22:20,512 --> 00:22:23,011 - Why? What's wrong? - ( sighs ) Fuck! 574 00:22:23,011 --> 00:22:24,845 All right, thanks. 575 00:22:24,845 --> 00:22:26,137 Damn it! 576 00:22:26,137 --> 00:22:27,387 Mm-hmm. 577 00:22:27,387 --> 00:22:29,053 We're not getting mail. 578 00:22:29,053 --> 00:22:31,053 The mailwoman has stopped delivering 579 00:22:31,053 --> 00:22:32,637 since-- since our date. 580 00:22:32,637 --> 00:22:35,387 Had the same situation with a girl at Burger King. 581 00:22:35,387 --> 00:22:37,429 Haven't had a Whopper in fucking three years. 582 00:22:37,429 --> 00:22:39,387 Yeah. You can't go back there, right? 583 00:22:39,387 --> 00:22:41,011 I know, you can't-- you can never go out 584 00:22:41,011 --> 00:22:43,178 with somebody you have contact with on a daily basis 585 00:22:43,178 --> 00:22:44,886 or weekly basis or yearly basis. 586 00:22:44,886 --> 00:22:47,011 You can only date people you don't know 587 00:22:47,011 --> 00:22:48,637 and you'll never, ever see. 588 00:22:48,637 --> 00:22:50,886 She has a route to do. She fucking delivers mail. 589 00:22:50,886 --> 00:22:52,554 She has a fucking route she gotta fucking hit. 590 00:22:52,554 --> 00:22:55,137 There's also-- there's also a post office credo. 591 00:22:55,137 --> 00:22:56,554 They should put "spite" in there. 592 00:22:56,554 --> 00:22:59,637 "Neither rain nor snow nor heat nor spite 593 00:22:59,637 --> 00:23:01,303 shall keep these couriers." 594 00:23:01,303 --> 00:23:03,053 That'd be cool, but that's not how this shit work. 595 00:23:03,053 --> 00:23:04,637 You hit the fucking reset button. 596 00:23:04,637 --> 00:23:07,053 I wanted to go back to-- to just her delivering mail 597 00:23:07,053 --> 00:23:08,178 and, uh, me saying hello. 598 00:23:08,178 --> 00:23:09,803 Now look at us, no fucking mail. 599 00:23:09,803 --> 00:23:11,928 You know how much shit I got coming to this house? 600 00:23:11,928 --> 00:23:13,928 - What? - I got my CD of the Month Club-- 601 00:23:13,928 --> 00:23:15,303 I'm not getting my fucking CDs-- 602 00:23:15,303 --> 00:23:17,178 my DVDs, all kinds of shit comes here. 603 00:23:17,178 --> 00:23:19,387 Yeah, you know what I got? I got a letter from Mr. Takahashi, 604 00:23:19,387 --> 00:23:22,761 who I'm waiting for, and-- and I'll never get it now. 605 00:23:22,761 --> 00:23:24,803 And now I don't know if I'm in the club or not. 606 00:23:24,803 --> 00:23:26,429 So, next time you tap that ass... 607 00:23:26,429 --> 00:23:28,554 I didn't tap-- I didn't tap any ass. 608 00:23:28,554 --> 00:23:30,928 Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. Wait a minute. 609 00:23:30,928 --> 00:23:32,220 You didn't tear that ass up? 610 00:23:32,220 --> 00:23:34,095 No. 611 00:23:34,095 --> 00:23:36,220 - Just a fucking date? - That's it. 612 00:23:36,220 --> 00:23:37,679 You didn't hit it? 613 00:23:37,679 --> 00:23:39,761 And you going through the same shit if you had hit it? 614 00:23:39,761 --> 00:23:42,303 Nope, nope. I didn't hit it, I didn't tap it, 615 00:23:42,303 --> 00:23:44,761 I didn't tear into it, and we still get no mail. 616 00:23:44,761 --> 00:23:45,720 Unbelievable. 617 00:23:50,803 --> 00:23:52,053 Hey, Sal! 618 00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:04,803 Hey, Sal, put the gate up? 619 00:24:04,803 --> 00:24:06,512 I'm expecting this letter from the club, 620 00:24:06,512 --> 00:24:08,429 but I had a fight with my mailwoman, 621 00:24:08,429 --> 00:24:09,761 so I'm not getting any mail, 622 00:24:09,761 --> 00:24:11,512 and I just wanted to go find out about, 623 00:24:11,512 --> 00:24:13,554 uh, what-- what the letter was all about, so. 624 00:24:13,554 --> 00:24:15,137 You're supposed to get a letter? 625 00:24:15,137 --> 00:24:16,803 Yeah, but the mailwoman wouldn't-- wouldn't deliver it. 626 00:24:16,803 --> 00:24:18,011 And why is that, Mr. David? 627 00:24:18,011 --> 00:24:21,803 Uh, I hit the-- the reset button. 628 00:24:21,803 --> 00:24:23,470 - Oh, that button. Yeah. - Yeah. 629 00:24:23,470 --> 00:24:25,637 You've hit that before, haven't you, sir? 630 00:24:25,637 --> 00:24:30,387 Unfortunately, Mr. David, you are at the very top of the do not admit list. 631 00:24:30,387 --> 00:24:31,679 - You're kidding! - Mm-hmm. 632 00:24:31,679 --> 00:24:33,387 - Oh, Sal. - It's the truth. 633 00:24:33,387 --> 00:24:35,595 - Huge misunderstanding here. - Let me double-check. 634 00:24:35,595 --> 00:24:38,303 No, you're completely forbidden from entering the premises. 635 00:24:38,303 --> 00:24:39,387 You're not gonna open the gate? 636 00:24:39,387 --> 00:24:41,803 You're on our list, sir. 637 00:24:41,803 --> 00:24:44,803 You know what, I was the only one in this club who ever spoke to you. 638 00:24:44,803 --> 00:24:47,761 - Sir, please back out. - I regret every conversation I had to sit through. 639 00:24:47,761 --> 00:24:53,387 - So unbelievably boring about your fucking cat... - Do I need to call security? 640 00:24:53,387 --> 00:24:56,429 I will call security or I will deal with you myself, sir. 641 00:24:56,429 --> 00:24:59,053 Not one person spoke to you except me. 642 00:24:59,053 --> 00:25:00,303 And now I'm being punished for it? 643 00:25:00,303 --> 00:25:01,595 Sir, you can back out, please. 644 00:25:01,595 --> 00:25:04,345 10 years I came up here, I put the window down. 645 00:25:04,345 --> 00:25:07,928 I talked to you, and I was suffocating 646 00:25:07,928 --> 00:25:10,095 from the bullshit and drivel 647 00:25:10,095 --> 00:25:11,845 that was coming out of your mouth... 648 00:25:11,845 --> 00:25:13,220 Back out your car, please. 649 00:25:13,220 --> 00:25:15,011 And don't bump into the speaker on your way out. 650 00:25:15,011 --> 00:25:16,512 - Fine. - ( tires screech ) 651 00:25:19,178 --> 00:25:22,387 ( chatter ) 652 00:25:33,928 --> 00:25:35,512 Huh? What do you think, Victor? 653 00:25:35,512 --> 00:25:36,554 ( chuckles ) That's a good look. 654 00:25:36,554 --> 00:25:37,720 - Yeah? - Yeah. 655 00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:39,262 Yeah, you look very honorable. 656 00:25:39,262 --> 00:25:41,387 Hey, look who's here. 657 00:25:41,387 --> 00:25:43,053 - Hi. - Good morning, gentlemen. 658 00:25:43,053 --> 00:25:44,637 Good morning, Mr. Franklin. 659 00:25:44,637 --> 00:25:46,512 And how are you this fine day? 660 00:25:46,512 --> 00:25:47,845 I am fine. And you? 661 00:25:47,845 --> 00:25:49,387 I'm-- I'm well, thank you. 662 00:25:49,387 --> 00:25:51,595 Now, gentlemen, make haste slowly. 663 00:25:51,595 --> 00:25:54,178 - Make-- make haste slowly. - Yes, sir. Yes, sir. 664 00:25:54,178 --> 00:25:55,845 - Make haste slowly. - ( chuckles ) 665 00:25:55,845 --> 00:25:57,761 - Huh? You like that? - Yeah, I like that. 666 00:25:57,761 --> 00:25:59,429 Attention, camp. 667 00:25:59,429 --> 00:26:02,095 His Excellency, General George Washington. 668 00:26:02,095 --> 00:26:04,387 Thank you, General, for the kind introduction. 669 00:26:04,387 --> 00:26:07,679 As you were, gentlemen. And who are these fine gentlemen here? 670 00:26:07,679 --> 00:26:08,928 General: Recruits, sir. 671 00:26:08,928 --> 00:26:10,387 Private Chesnik reporting for duty, sir. 672 00:26:10,387 --> 00:26:12,595 Lieutenant David reporting for duty, sir! 673 00:26:12,595 --> 00:26:16,345 - Lieutenant? - I, uh-- I elevated myself somewhat, yes. 674 00:26:16,345 --> 00:26:18,803 Okay, well, are you ready to die for your country? 675 00:26:18,803 --> 00:26:21,137 I'm ready to play dead for my country, 676 00:26:21,137 --> 00:26:24,429 which nobody could do like I can if I put my mind to it. 677 00:26:24,429 --> 00:26:28,679 Indeed, well, gentlemen, I have lots of work to do to tend to an army, 678 00:26:28,679 --> 00:26:31,262 - so we shall see you at the end. - Yes. Go, tend to your army. 679 00:26:31,262 --> 00:26:33,595 - Thank you very much. - Yes. 680 00:26:33,595 --> 00:26:35,637 He's quite a disappointment. ( chuckles ) 681 00:26:35,637 --> 00:26:38,053 ( music playing ) 682 00:26:39,637 --> 00:26:41,595 General: Attention! 683 00:26:46,345 --> 00:26:47,720 Battalion! 684 00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:49,595 - Man: Company! - Men: Ready! 685 00:26:49,595 --> 00:26:52,345 - Forward at the half step. - All right! 686 00:26:52,345 --> 00:26:54,803 - March! - Man: March! 687 00:26:54,803 --> 00:26:56,803 ( music playing ) 688 00:26:58,512 --> 00:27:00,137 Redcoat: Ready! 689 00:27:00,137 --> 00:27:03,345 Forward... march! 690 00:27:03,345 --> 00:27:06,303 General: Battalion halt! 691 00:27:06,303 --> 00:27:08,637 - Man: Halt! - Men: Halt! 692 00:27:08,637 --> 00:27:10,220 Front rank, ready? 693 00:27:10,220 --> 00:27:11,970 Man: Make ready! 694 00:27:11,970 --> 00:27:15,095 ( men shouting ) 695 00:27:15,095 --> 00:27:16,470 Take aim! 696 00:27:16,470 --> 00:27:17,803 Generals: Fire! 697 00:27:20,095 --> 00:27:21,761 General: Fire! 698 00:27:21,761 --> 00:27:23,554 ( groans ) 699 00:27:23,554 --> 00:27:25,262 What are you-- what are you doing? 700 00:27:25,262 --> 00:27:26,928 You got three hours to go, here. 701 00:27:26,928 --> 00:27:29,429 Are you crazy? Get up. This is nuts. 702 00:27:29,429 --> 00:27:31,095 General: By God, sir, get back in rank. 703 00:27:31,095 --> 00:27:32,512 Larry: You're not gonna have any fun. 704 00:27:32,512 --> 00:27:34,970 Come on, he's not gonna have any fun. 705 00:27:34,970 --> 00:27:37,220 That's not fair. It's not fair. 706 00:27:37,220 --> 00:27:39,303 Let him live. Let him live. 707 00:27:40,595 --> 00:27:42,220 Larry come on, get back in line. 708 00:27:42,220 --> 00:27:43,554 - Fall back, come on. - No. It's so stupid. 709 00:27:45,512 --> 00:27:48,886 General: Reload! Reload! 710 00:27:48,886 --> 00:27:50,512 - Victor: Hey, Larry. - Larry: What the hell was that? 711 00:27:50,512 --> 00:27:52,178 - Victor: What was that? - Larry: Was that real? 712 00:27:52,178 --> 00:27:53,345 There's a crater in the ground. 713 00:27:53,345 --> 00:27:55,178 Both: Oh, my God! 714 00:27:55,178 --> 00:27:57,387 Larry! Larry! What the hell is this, man? 715 00:27:57,387 --> 00:27:59,345 - This is real! This is real! - Oh, my God. 716 00:27:59,345 --> 00:28:01,720 Victor: Somebody's shooting at us, man! 717 00:28:02,845 --> 00:28:04,554 Ah! Incoming! 718 00:28:04,554 --> 00:28:06,095 It's live rounds, Larry! 719 00:28:06,095 --> 00:28:08,137 - What the fuck? - It's Sal! 720 00:28:08,137 --> 00:28:09,886 - Sal? Who's Sal? - Sal. 721 00:28:09,886 --> 00:28:11,554 Larry: He's a security guard from my golf club. 722 00:28:11,554 --> 00:28:13,095 Why is he trying to kill us, man? 723 00:28:13,095 --> 00:28:14,886 I told him I didn't wanna say hello to him anymore. 724 00:28:14,886 --> 00:28:16,595 - What? - ( gasps ) 725 00:28:16,595 --> 00:28:18,512 Hello, Sal! I'm sorry! 726 00:28:18,512 --> 00:28:20,512 ( yells ) 727 00:28:20,512 --> 00:28:22,928 - Incoming! - ( Larry grunts ) 728 00:28:22,928 --> 00:28:24,761 Aah! 729 00:28:24,761 --> 00:28:26,761 ( high-pitched ringing ) 730 00:28:26,761 --> 00:28:29,137 - ( explosions ) - ( machine-gun fire ) 731 00:28:29,137 --> 00:28:30,679 ( muffled ) Hello! 732 00:28:30,679 --> 00:28:31,970 How's your cat? 733 00:28:31,970 --> 00:28:34,262 ( helicopter blades whirring ) 734 00:28:34,262 --> 00:28:36,345 Hello, Sal. How you doing? 735 00:28:36,345 --> 00:28:41,053 Soldier's voice: Hot. Hot contact, hot contact. We need air now. 736 00:28:41,053 --> 00:28:44,512 - ( Larry shouting, muffled ) - Soldier's voice: Man down! Man down! 737 00:28:44,512 --> 00:28:46,595 Come on! Come on! 738 00:28:46,595 --> 00:28:48,470 Let's go! Come on! 739 00:28:49,761 --> 00:28:52,095 ( choir singing ) 740 00:29:01,761 --> 00:29:03,262 ( man shouting ) 741 00:29:05,053 --> 00:29:07,886 For Britain and King George! 742 00:29:07,886 --> 00:29:10,595 ( shouting ) 743 00:29:10,595 --> 00:29:15,470 - Charge! - ( all shouting ) 744 00:29:15,470 --> 00:29:18,262 ( both panting ) 745 00:29:18,262 --> 00:29:20,720 Larry! Larry, get up, get up. Are you all right? 746 00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:22,803 Yeah. I'm good, yeah. ( panting ) 747 00:29:22,803 --> 00:29:25,220 - What the...? - Motherfucking redcoats! 748 00:29:25,220 --> 00:29:27,345 God, those motherfuckers. 749 00:29:27,345 --> 00:29:29,637 - God damn it, what the hell was that? - Come on, come on. 750 00:29:29,637 --> 00:29:31,595 Fuck. God damn it. 751 00:29:31,595 --> 00:29:34,303 Come on. I have no idea where we are. 752 00:29:34,303 --> 00:29:35,720 No idea. 753 00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:38,803 You know what? I think I know where the car is. 754 00:29:38,803 --> 00:29:41,053 I think it's that way. 755 00:29:41,053 --> 00:29:42,970 Yeah. 756 00:29:42,970 --> 00:29:44,803 "Mister Tee"? 757 00:29:44,803 --> 00:29:47,928 Hey, that's Mr. Takahashi's car. 758 00:29:47,928 --> 00:29:49,803 Who's Mr. Takahashi? 759 00:29:49,803 --> 00:29:52,011 What the hell is he doing here? 760 00:29:57,761 --> 00:29:59,637 - Oh, fuck. - Oh, my God. 761 00:29:59,637 --> 00:30:01,637 - Ken's wife? - ( window whirs ) 762 00:30:01,637 --> 00:30:04,886 This is interesting, because I was coming over to the car 763 00:30:04,886 --> 00:30:06,637 to ask you about the letter, 764 00:30:06,637 --> 00:30:09,679 but, uh, I don't think that'll be necessary anymore. 765 00:30:09,679 --> 00:30:11,345 Do me a favor, 766 00:30:11,345 --> 00:30:12,886 will you call the club and tell them 767 00:30:12,886 --> 00:30:14,720 I'm coming over to play some golf? 768 00:30:16,137 --> 00:30:17,928 Okay. 769 00:30:17,928 --> 00:30:19,970 See you at the club. Take care. 770 00:30:19,970 --> 00:30:22,470 I knew that baby looked a little Asian. 771 00:30:22,470 --> 00:30:25,262 Hey, let's play some golf. 772 00:30:25,262 --> 00:30:26,845 I don't know. 773 00:30:26,845 --> 00:30:28,303 What? No, come on. It'll be fun. 774 00:30:28,303 --> 00:30:31,053 - ( sighs ) - I think the car's that way. 775 00:30:37,637 --> 00:30:39,928 Hello, Mr. David. Nice to meet you. 776 00:30:39,928 --> 00:30:41,387 I'm Randy. I'm new here. 777 00:30:41,387 --> 00:30:43,761 How are you? I was told you'd be heading over. 778 00:30:43,761 --> 00:30:44,637 Yeah. 779 00:30:46,679 --> 00:30:47,803 ( sighs ) 780 00:30:53,303 --> 00:30:55,761 That's how you do it. That's how you do it. 781 00:30:55,761 --> 00:30:57,512 Larry: All right, look, you know, I got-- 782 00:30:57,512 --> 00:30:59,595 I got clothes in my locker we can wear 783 00:30:59,595 --> 00:31:02,387 or we could just take these jackets off. 784 00:31:02,387 --> 00:31:04,262 Doesn't really matter what we're playing in. 785 00:31:06,137 --> 00:31:08,637 Victor: What the fuck is this? 786 00:31:12,220 --> 00:31:13,387 Larry: You all right? 787 00:31:13,387 --> 00:31:15,637 ( muffled explosions ) 788 00:31:15,637 --> 00:31:17,220 Victor: Oh, fuck. Pull over! Pull over! 789 00:31:17,220 --> 00:31:19,387 - 10:00. Redcoats, man. - ( tires screech ) 790 00:31:19,387 --> 00:31:21,679 Larry, there's fucking redcoats, man! 791 00:31:21,679 --> 00:31:22,970 - You motherfuckers! - Larry: Hey. 792 00:31:22,970 --> 00:31:25,095 Don't tread on me, motherfuckers! 793 00:31:25,095 --> 00:31:26,720 - Come on! Yeah! - Larry: Hey! No! 794 00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:28,178 It's your last day, you bitches. 795 00:31:28,178 --> 00:31:30,761 - Get the fuck outta here! - They're valets! 796 00:31:30,761 --> 00:31:32,928 ( shouting ) Come on, man! 797 00:31:32,928 --> 00:31:34,928 Man: Hey, please! ( screaming ) 798 00:31:36,761 --> 00:31:39,011 - ( screaming continues ) - ( sighs ) 799 00:31:45,220 --> 00:31:48,053 Hey, asshole! Here's your mail. 800 00:31:53,886 --> 00:31:56,970 Welcome home, soldier. Thank you for your service. 801 00:31:58,429 --> 00:32:02,095 ( theme music playing ) 802 00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:20,679 What is this, tap? 803 00:33:20,679 --> 00:33:21,845 -Yes it is. -LARRY DAVID: Oh. 804 00:33:22,053 --> 00:33:23,512 Surprised you don't have a filter. 805 00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:24,845 You have no filter. 806 00:33:26,637 --> 00:33:28,470 I am trying my best to accommodate you. 807 00:33:28,470 --> 00:33:29,512 LARRY: It doesn't seem like it. 808 00:33:29,512 --> 00:33:30,470 You're not goin' through ruling it. 809 00:33:31,095 --> 00:33:32,803 You're not doing unto others as you would have others do unto you. 810 00:33:32,803 --> 00:33:35,761 Unfortunately, the golden rule is not a federal regulation. 811 00:33:35,761 --> 00:33:38,886 Golden rule's on top, federal law is second! 812 00:33:38,886 --> 00:33:40,387 I have to make a choice. 813 00:33:40,387 --> 00:33:42,178 It's either Larry David or Marilyn. 814 00:33:42,178 --> 00:33:43,845 -Who'd you pick? -I took Marilyn. 815 00:33:43,845 --> 00:33:45,178 I would have made the same decision. 816 00:33:45,178 --> 00:33:46,928 Let's face it, at this point in our lives, it's... 817 00:33:46,928 --> 00:33:49,053 not so easy to find people to have sex with us.